1 down 34 to go…

….yep first radiation treatment is now history.  I have some additional tattoos and some neat stickers near my boob that have “x” on them…. so now I am  signing off and making my sweet man dinner.

over and out.

 

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blogging for a cure/is it good luck when…

 

Is it good luck when your dog poops in your shoe?  One of mine did that to me this morning.  I am thinking there is a cosmic raison d’être on this since  some of you may recall a bird pooped on my head in Home Depot before my surgery?

Hope so….today is day one.  At the end of today I will be one treatment down with like 34 to go.

I also heard on the Today Show this morning that Hoda Kotb is off filming something about breast cancer survivors according to Kathie Lee Gifford ?  Wonder what that is all about.   

Hey Hoda?  I know a few survivors LOL. 

I am one of the Blog for a Cure people – we’re the ladies keeping is real as we go through and past our treatments and talk about what it’s like, how we are treated, how we feel.   Blogging about this is a great relief as it is an outlet, but it is not easy to talk about this stuff some days.

Keep in your prayers  some of my fellow bloggers going thru treatment , a friend of a friend who has stage 3 breast cancer and starts chemo the first week in August, and also for a friend of mine’s mom who has had a recurrence.

Go forth people and enjoy your days.  I am nervous and a wee bit anxious but I am pretty much o.k.   I am resolved I will get through this (but I won’t promise not to whine occasionally).

Hugs.

 

 

 

 

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dessert first day

Today I ate dessert first. Yes indeedy, on my way home from the office the lure of the new frozen yogurt place could be denied no longer.  So yes, yes, I ate dessert first and it was yummy. 

I had red velvet-mango-chocolate if anyone is interested, incidentally.

Dinner was also delicious.  My friend Sara made me a gluten-free or almost gluten-free version of eggplant parm with fresh little eggplant, peppers, zucchini, onions, not a lot of cheese – yum!!  I think she used buckwheat crumbs if memory serves and it was very light and perfect.

So tomorrow is D-day on radiation…1st day of 5 days a week for 7 weeks…so what is that? 35 zaps on the scale of life?  I guess I will have to start a count down ?

I said good-bye to my normal bras today and shave the left pit one last time for the next 7 weeks.

I can do this, right? ( Yes I will do this, o.k.?)

My sweet man is taking me tomorrow.    He rocks out loud.

Off to do my happy rain dance – yes it’s raining finally and I don’t have to water!

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the next part of the journey is about to begin

I would be lying if I did not admit I was still anxious about radiation.  I am and I can only find one of the three tattoos so I wonder if the ink did not take or something.

But as I get ready, I am reminded by the many blessings in my life. I am also reminded life is sometimes a journey without an exact road map.   It’s being able to accept the “without an exact road map” part of it that is tricky. 

A friend of mine who is a survivor told me recently about one of the things breast cancer taught her.  It was to live in the moment.  I will admit I am doing more of that, but still….sometimes the great unknown gets to me.  And yes, I know I have to learn to let that go and I am literally learning more how to go with the flow.

One thing I wish we had access to as girls growing up would have been a more comprehensive guide to breast health.  Funny thing is I don’t remember anything about breast health at all.  Now my sister and I were lucky because our parents didn’t have us chock full of junk food and processed foods.  We also didn’t discover soy until we were adults.

I have never been a huge fan of soy and soy products – other than occasional use of soy sauce, but having a hormone drive cancer sure heightens my awareness.  And although I am not a parent, I am going to open my mouth about this whole breast health topic and young girls – educate them.  Keep them away from food products with either added hormones or too many naturally occurring hormones.  Boys too.  I have heard soy is not good for young, growing boys either.  More and more studies are showing up, including from Harvard.  (Read more about the soy thing here on Simply Organic ).

And again, before I talk about one last thing, if you have young daughters out there, please check out takingcareofyourgirls.com .

Now onto body changes – my left breast is where the tumor was removed.  It finally deflated post surgery as I had previously mentioned, and now, as I was told it would, it has changed shape.  In a bra it’s not noticed.  Out of the bra, I am definitely lop-sided.  It doesn’t necessarily look revolting, it’s just different and I am not sure how I feel about it.  I guess I really won’t decide until  I am really into the radiation – apparently the breast can   shrink and distort more during treatment.

But at the end of the day, I look in the mirror and realize the more important thing is that I am alive – not a slightly misshapen breast.  A friend who did not realize I was going through this said that this all sounds scary. And yes, yes it is because after all it’s cancer.  But if we let the fear overtake us, we get nowhere, right?  I would rather live my life and enjoy it in spite of things like breast cancer then live my life in fear.

Stay cool, it’s still stinking hot out.  Flowing stream of consciousness over :<}

 

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mammogram musical chairs

Ok so when was it?  A year or two ago when “experts” recommended that we NOT have mammograms routinely  between  40 and 49 and only biennial screening 50- 74?

May I once again say that if I or my doctors had heeded that advice, I could be dead? Or headed there?

Now guidelines have come out annual mammograms are now once again recommended for women 40 and up.  Well duhhhhh.  Sorry, this just all pisses me off because I am sick of politicians and lobbyists and whomever telling women how to deal with their bodies.  It shouldn’t be this hard. 

Today is just another day in mammogram musical chairs.  And the fact of the matter is many breast cancers do NOT show up on routine mammography and you have to push to get other tests approved. 

We need routine mammograms AND affordable access to other diagnostics – breast MRIs, breast ultrasounds, and that spiffy new 3D thing which seems to be loose in Europe from Siemens.

Yes, I am hot and cranky as it is Africa hot outside, but it is the truth that women deserve the best healthcare possible.    It’s not like men can procreate on their own, can they?

Tell your elected officials (male, female, android)  enough is enough – when it comes to women’s bodies, give us the right to choose what to do.

I will post links below.  Also, I spoke to another friend today whom has gone through 2 bouts of ductal and is at present cancer-free.  She is amazing and sweet and positive.  She was stage 4 and right now they can find nothing, nan, zip, zilch and may I say YAY!!!  She told me to check out  Tumeric after I finish radiation – a doctor at Memorial Sloan Kettering told her about it.  I think I am going to look into it. 

I believe in alternative treatments in conjunction with traditional medicines – however, I would not suggest any of that without consulting with doctors. 

Alrighty, that is all from me today – I am so bloody hot and I wish it would rain.  To follow are links about the new mammogram guidelines.  I REALLY think that women everywhere however should contact our elected officials to demand that they stop screwing around with our breast health and everything else.   Do it for the girls ladies, do it for the girls….

For Release: July 20, 2011

 Washington, DC— Due to the high incidence of breast cancer in the US and the potential to reduce deaths from it when caught early, The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (The College) today issued new breast cancer screening guidelines that recommend mammography screening be offered annually to women beginning at age 40. Previous College guidelines recommended mammograms every one to two years starting at age 40 and annually beginning at age 50.

According to Jennifer Griffin, MD, MPH, who co-authored The College guidelines, the change in mammography screening for women beginning at age 40 is based on three factors: the incidence of breast cancer, the sojourn time for breast cancer growth, and the potential to reduce the number of deaths from it. The time period between when a breast cancer may be detected by a mammogram while it is very small and before it grows big enough to become symptomatic is known as the sojourn time. Although the sojourn time of individual cancers can vary, the greatest predictor is age. Women ages 40-49 have the shortest average sojourn time (2-2.4 years), while women ages 70-74 have the longest average sojourn time (4-4.1 years).

“Although women in their 40s have a lower overall incidence of breast cancer compared with older women, the window to detect tumors before they become symptomatic is shorter, on average,” said Dr. Griffin. The five-year survival rate is 98% for women whose breast cancer tumors are discovered at their earliest stage, before they are palpable and when they are small and confined to the breast. “If women in their 40s have annual mammograms, there is a better chance of detecting and treating the cancer before it has time to spread than if they wait two years between mammograms.”

The College continues to recommend annual clinical breast exams (CBE) for women ages 40 and older, and every one to three years for women ages 20-39. Additionally, The College encourages “breast self-awareness” for women ages 20 and older. Enhanced breast cancer screening, such as more frequent CBEs, annual MRI (magnetic resonance imaging), or mammograms before age 40, may be recommended for women at high risk of breast cancer. Breast MRI is not recommended for women at average risk of developing breast cancer.

Breast cancer is the second leading cause of all cancer-related deaths among American women. The incidence of breast cancer in the US declined 2% each year between 1999 and 2006, and deaths from breast cancer have also declined steadily over the past two decades. Evidence suggests the drop in breast cancer rates is most likely due to fewer women getting mammograms and therefore not being diagnosed, as well as a significant drop in women using hormone therapy for menopausal symptoms. “The good news is that fewer women are dying from breast cancer because of earlier detection and improved treatments,” said Gerald F. Joseph, Jr, MD, Vice President for Practice Activities of The College.

The College’s breast cancer screening guidelines also address clinical breast exams and breast self-awareness.

Clinical Breast Exam

Studies on CBEs suggest they can help detect breast cancer early, particularly when used along with mammograms. Thus, The College recommends that women ages 40 and older have an annual CBE performed by their physician. Although the benefit of CBEs isn’t clear for those younger than age 40, The College continues to recommend that women ages 20-39 have a CBE every one to three years.

Breast Self-Awareness

The traditional breast self-exam (BSE) has shifted toward a newer concept called “breast self-awareness.” BSE is performed in a systematic way on a regular basis, typically monthly. Breast self-awareness, on the other hand, is women understanding the normal appearance and feel of their breasts, but without a specific interval or systematic examination technique. The College endorses educating women ages 20 and older regarding breast self-awareness.

“The goal here is for women to be alert to any changes, no matter how small, in their breasts, and report them to their doctor,” said Dr. Griffin. “Although we’ve moved away from routinely recommending BSEs, some women will want to continue doing them and that’s OK.”

According to The College, there is no consensus on the upper age limit for mammograms, although the benefits of screening declines with increasing age compared with the harms of overtreatment. Women ages 75 and older should discuss with their doctor whether to continue getting mammograms, said Dr. Griffin.
Practice Bulletin #122 “Breast Cancer Screening” is published in the August 2011 issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology.

# # #

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (The College), a 501(c)(3) organization, is the nation’s leading group of physicians providing health care for women. As a private, voluntary, nonprofit membership organization of approximately 55,000 members, The College strongly advocates for quality health care for women, maintains the highest standards of clinical practice and continuing education of its members, promotes patient education, and increases awareness among its members and the public of the changing issues facing women’s health care. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), a 501(c)(6) organization, is its companion organization. Follow us on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/acognews and at http://www.acog.org.

 

MSNBC: Mammogram dispute leaves women fearful, frustrated Dr. Nancy Snyderman answers questions from our Facebook fans

CNN:Docs group urges mammograms every year starting at 40

Mammogram age change: Women should start reast cancer screening at 40, not 50, says ACOG

BY Kathleen Lucadamo
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

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living well is the best revenge…think pink, live green

Well first I start today’s post with something by www.breastcancer.org ‘s  founder Dr. Marisa Weiss called Think Pink, Live Green – it sure has made me think.  Seriously, even if you have never had breast cancer and don’t feel you are at risk for it, you should read this. It is good common sense for the world we live in and should serve as a wake up call.

Eating organically and naturally is more expensive I am discovering, but hell, I have a hormone driven cancer, I don’t need it in the food I ingest.   It is also frightening all that we as mankind have put into our environment.

I also learned at a presentation recently that not only are instances of breast cancer statistically higher in NJ, PA and DE but according to data that someone provided to  breastcancer.org where I live is purportedly among the highest in breast cancer in Pennsylvania – Montgomery County and Lower Merion Township.

WHY??? 

Is it something we are doing to our local environment, and issue of density, what????  Not to mix it up, but it sure is something local governments should think about every time they want to add new developments to overstuffed communities.    I am thinking when it comes to our breast health, less is more – less stress, less bad environmental scenarios, less hormones, less chemicals.

I did find online a paper from 2007 by the Alliance For a Clean Environment which said breast cancer was scary high at that point in Montgomery County – now they were focused on Limerick in a lot of the report, and I have seen other reports focused on King of Prussia, but what I heard recently is Lower Merion in Montgomery County is right there too  with regard to breast cancer ….mind you I know that some of you will say “what doesn’t cause cancer?” – but still.  Clusters are clusters, and ladies, we need to take care of the girls and perhaps elected officials on all levels need to be more accountable?

I think my point in this is as survivors  (or friends or loved ones of survivors) we can’t just advocate for awareness of breast cancer  and advocate for the best treatment possible, we need to advocate for preventive measures – being proactive could  ultimately be   the  girls’  best friend in some cases, eh?  If we improve our environment, we improve our lives as survivors and hopefully pay it forward so other women don’t go through what we have to deal with as the ranks of diagnosed and survivors. 

I also believe there needs to be meaningful healthcare reform.  Socializing medicine alone isn’t going to do it.  As women we deserve better healthcare – we shouldn’t be second class healthcare citizens.

In other boobalicious things, I have also discovered a great site to show to the younger ladies out there called Taking Care of Your Girls.   It’s a hip, fun site that is a partner to a very popular and informative book by the same name brought to us also by Dr. Marisa Weiss.

Now I am going to bitch a little about something which is bothering me.  My money is a lil’ tight thanks to breast cancer so fun like getting my hair trimmed is limited.  I stopped into a local salon the where only one  cut was happening  (an  old lady was getting white curlers put in her hair) and a couple cutters were free and when I asked if they could squeeze me in for a trim — the male receptionist basically gave me the fluff off.   Like I had some nerve to ask

Mind you, this is a salon I have patronized in the past, only not too often because they are a bit tasty in price points.   When I asked for this trim, I can’t even explain the stares I got from these employees in a virtually empty salon – if they had been stacked with a lot of people filling all the chairs I never would have asked.  But they were empty

I am left now way after this has happened with a bad taste in my mouth.  In addition, this is a salon which sends out e-mails talking about local charities, etc, and so after I got diagnosed and started reading about salons which offer discounts to breast cancer, I sent them an e-mail and asked them if they were a salon that did that.  They never responded. I know not every salon offers these discounts, but what is the big deal about responding? 

The only thing that is keeping me from actually naming this salon and blowing them to smithereens is that the owner is one of the nicest people I have ever met and somehow I don’t think she would (a) appreciate knowing a customer inquiry was not responded to (b) that someone was fluffed off with attitude on a summer day when there was only ONE customer in the salon.

But just so you all know who say BC women need to take care of ourselves, myself included, we try but it’s not necessarily that easy.  Money and time are tight and when you get up the courage to say “ok I need a little TLC” and try to attend to it  and then are made to feel bad (whether it is deliberate or not) by a local business you want to patronize (in a crappy economy), well screw it, I will just wait.  All I wanted was a damn trim.  Not a color, not a full blow-out or up do, and instead I feel like I got frosted off.  And to think of all the people I suggested go to this salon!  Ironically, I got better treatment the last place I went which was considered upscale from this one.  Maybe I will just save up and go back there.

Ok bitch fest over.  

Think pink, live green  and play catch and release with things that annoy you….. and remember what Oprah said once:

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.
– Oprah Winfrey

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let the games begin

Today was incredibly long, and  my friend Teri wants everyone to know she was early.   It’s a running joke, but usually I am the early one and she is not.

Linda and Teri came to keep me company today and Linda and I got held up getting into the hospital due to the Idiot’s Delight Waltz in the parking lots and garage at the hospital.

So today was my radiation planning day…..they were so nice but it felt really l-o-n-g and a little scary.

First I got to hang out with one of the nurses.  Then I met with my doctor who went over the “No” list – as in NO shaving underneath the left arm for 7 weeks during radiation, no real sun, no real extremes in temperature, no underwire bras, no anti-oxidant vitamins like C,A,D,E during treatment and so on and so forth.

Then I went into the special room with the giant machine for measuring and all that good stuff.  Then I got tattooed. I still hate needles. (Yes I know, big baby wahhh wahhh wahh)

I go back next week for the dry run and the first dose of radiation and all the scheduling. I would be lying if I did not say I was antsy and anxious.  But I want this over with already.

Today I was Ms. Cranky Pants enough that my sweet man told me very lovingly this morning  to return from the Land of Cranky and to retire the broomstick for the day.  And yes I am trying, but I feel like I have this huge cavernous time and money eater ahead of me that is going to french fry body parts.  But the flip side is we are all a long time dead, so I will get on with it.

My head is crowded and my emotions are a little fraught, but I am hanging in there.

Ohh!  And I got my photos mounted to show and I picked up a freelance photo gig seconding my favorite professional photographer, so it’s not all bad.

Thank you support team for getting me through another day.

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when it comes to breast cancer, who is a survivor?

So I saw this status posted on The Breast Cancer Site on Facebook about putting something on individual pages to honor the memories of women who have died from breast cancer.

Right or wrong, this kind of irked me because no offense to those who have lost loved ones to breast or any kind of cancer, but you whooo??? There are a lot of us out here who count as survivors, yes?  

Why not accentuate the positive and give props to the women out there every day alive and kicking and dealing with the disease called breast cancer?

So anyway, I commented on this on my own Facebook page and this guy I knew from high school said that all props to me, but those who have lost someone who was part of their lives – they are survivors too.

Call me crazy, and maybe I know nothing in the land of pink rubber bracelets and uber pink marketing, but in this particular sense of the word, doesn’t survivor refer to those of us who have had mastectomies, partial mastectomies, lumpectomies, chemo, radiation and so on and so forth who are hanging out fighting the good fight and are alive and kicking?   As in thus far knock on wood say a prayer of thanksgiving as we are surviving this disease?

Below is a cut-n-past of this thing I found.  Any thoughts out there on this? 

In the age of thinking too pink, who is a survivor?  I say  give props to the ladies fighting the good fight – and I say that meaning no disrespect to anyone who has lost someone to this disease – quite simply it’s just we’re here, we’re real and we’re alive and kicking.

But then again I am not a woman that feels I have to sport a cheap pink rubber bracelet to show solidarity with my new-found sisterhood.

Peace out.

Share the Angel Wings

www.TheBreastCancerSite.com

 
Every year more than 40,000 Americans die from Breast Cancer. If you’ve lost someone you love to Breast Cancer please share these beautiful Angel Wings on your wall to honor their memory.

 
Show your support: Post it on your Profile
 
 
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sunday….

Another wonderful weekend is drawing to a close.  Bummer.  This week starts the fun of radiation – as far as the set-up of it all goes at a minimum (don’t know if they start treatment this week or not).  Then seven weeks.  Then five years of tamoxifen.

I worked on my photography this weekend.  It’s good for my head.  I also prepared photos for a local show – I figure if I sell any, it can go towards the costs of the seven weeks of upcoming fun, or my car inspection which is also nigh.

Seriously though, I had an awesome weekend with my sweet man.  Normalcy.  Sigh…. I love it and him.  

One tiny wrinkle in this weekend was the deer tick I found crawling up my leg Saturday. Teeny weeny little bastard.  I wasn’t bitten that I know of, but boy get a little breast cancer and you sure get neurotic about other stuff.  I keep checking for bull’s-eyes or bites – nothing.  I hope it stays nothing.  You see, some of my friends and I know a woman who had viral encephalitis a few years after having non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and surviving that. So yeah, I worry.

Did I mention I slept until 11 a.m. this morning? Yep, I finally tired myself out – haven’t slept that late in literally years.  And I slept deeply because although I don’t really remember my dreams precisely, I remember the bits and pieces and they were crazy.

Big deep breaths are in order for me this week.  I am a little antsy about starting treatment.

Good night all.

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friday….and someone who inspires me

Another week is drawing to a close my friends and I am still smiling.   I want to thank all of you for your love and support this week.

Last evening, after work, my friend Michelle stopped by so we could catch up.  Michelle is someone I have become friends with through some common volunteerism, and as it turns out, we know a slew of people in common. (Life is funny that way)

Michelle is one of those people who inspires me.  She will be reading this right now and resisting the urge to beat me senseless because she is not about self-promotion in the least, but I think she deserves a shout out.

Michelle has MS.  Multiple Sclerosis.  She has had it since fall of 2009 if memory serves.  If you know her and see her, all you see is a beautiful and vibrant woman.  To those of us lucky enough to be her friends we see, in addition, an inspirational woman who is just kind and good.  And someone who is as funny as hell with a total sense of fun and a delicious sense of humor.  As an aside, she writes a blog you can find HERE.

She’s not a saint, and neither am I by any stretch of the imagination, but she does inspire me.  I think breast cancer as a concept is scary enough some days, but truthfully?  I can’t imagine MS and having to stick yourself with needles every day. Yuck. (but she does it and brava girl, brava)

Michelle and I hadn’t caught up really in meaningful way since I got diagnosed, so we settled in for a good chat. 

We spoke about life, our guys, our diseases and well how we feel about certain aspects of the disease and interacting with others.  As in especially others who don’t have what we have – and there was a lot of crossover even though our conditions are vastly different.  That was really interesting. 

Michelle gets where I am coming from completely and boy did I grin when she said it irks her when people say “I understand how you feel”  when referring to her disease or trying  to make her disease about them.  You see, it’s not all about being a queen bee , but as I have personally learned from my own breast cancer, unless you are in it, you really don’t get all of it – it is very complex on how it can make you feel and react.  Seeing something and living something are two very different things.

We also spoke about support groups and I am beginning to feel that sometimes these support groups are indeed supporting the negativity and fears of people coping with various diseases and conditions, versus buoying people up and helping them work through the dark and negativity to try to get all to a better place.  But then again, in all fairness, it depends on the composition of the group and if you don’t like the one you are in and you NEED that support, either be honest with the group members and how they make you feel or find another one.  Some people, support group or no support group, just bond over negativity.  Oh wow, did I say that?  Sorry, not trying to be rude, it’s just what I have observed on occasion.

Also much like myself, Michelle has a hard time leaning on people and letting them take care of her – yes I really am like that which is why my Radiation Team may occasionally have to sit me down and tell me to relax over the next seven weeks.   When you are of an independent spirit, sometimes well…we are just a bit stubborn. It’s not that we don’t love you, we don’t want to be a burden as much as anything else.

So Michelle, this post is for you.  Thank you for being my friend and inspiring me. You look fabulous!  Hugs.

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