I would be lying if I did not admit I was still anxious about radiation. I am and I can only find one of the three tattoos so I wonder if the ink did not take or something.
But as I get ready, I am reminded by the many blessings in my life. I am also reminded life is sometimes a journey without an exact road map. It’s being able to accept the “without an exact road map” part of it that is tricky.
A friend of mine who is a survivor told me recently about one of the things breast cancer taught her. It was to live in the moment. I will admit I am doing more of that, but still….sometimes the great unknown gets to me. And yes, I know I have to learn to let that go and I am literally learning more how to go with the flow.
One thing I wish we had access to as girls growing up would have been a more comprehensive guide to breast health. Funny thing is I don’t remember anything about breast health at all. Now my sister and I were lucky because our parents didn’t have us chock full of junk food and processed foods. We also didn’t discover soy until we were adults.
I have never been a huge fan of soy and soy products – other than occasional use of soy sauce, but having a hormone drive cancer sure heightens my awareness. And although I am not a parent, I am going to open my mouth about this whole breast health topic and young girls – educate them. Keep them away from food products with either added hormones or too many naturally occurring hormones. Boys too. I have heard soy is not good for young, growing boys either. More and more studies are showing up, including from Harvard. (Read more about the soy thing here on Simply Organic ).
And again, before I talk about one last thing, if you have young daughters out there, please check out takingcareofyourgirls.com .
Now onto body changes – my left breast is where the tumor was removed. It finally deflated post surgery as I had previously mentioned, and now, as I was told it would, it has changed shape. In a bra it’s not noticed. Out of the bra, I am definitely lop-sided. It doesn’t necessarily look revolting, it’s just different and I am not sure how I feel about it. I guess I really won’t decide until I am really into the radiation – apparently the breast can shrink and distort more during treatment.
But at the end of the day, I look in the mirror and realize the more important thing is that I am alive – not a slightly misshapen breast. A friend who did not realize I was going through this said that this all sounds scary. And yes, yes it is because after all it’s cancer. But if we let the fear overtake us, we get nowhere, right? I would rather live my life and enjoy it in spite of things like breast cancer then live my life in fear.
Stay cool, it’s still stinking hot out. Flowing stream of consciousness over :<}