Raison d’être

Well…hmmm…let’s see – on April 28th, 2011 I received the news no woman wants to hear: breast cancer. 

Because writing has always been a safe haven of expression, I decided part of what gets me through this will be to write about it.

Thanks for stopping by

26 Responses to Raison d’être

  1. Sara says:

    So, having watched my daughter struggle, survival [mentally/emot] means, as necessary, living one nano second at a time. AND, calling me up at 2 or 3 or whenever. Actually, I was awake at 3:30 today, facing my own demons and would have loved a phone call. So, let’s become late night buddies. So I mean it, you.

    Take care! Love ya, S

  2. jelebelle says:

    writing helps, communicating and being still with it helps. i just came across your blog today. looking forward to diving in and reading of your experience. best of luck to you in this process. this month is my one year ago diagnosis and mastectomy. it is great to have people to relate to this crappy news but awakening journey. take care of you, and ask away if you need advice in the beginning stages.

  3. Mike says:

    Thanks for your comments on the Breast Cancer Survivor’s Foundation. Whoever they are, they are running a scam. As Power of Attorney for my soon to be 95 year old mother, I instructed the organization to cease all calls and correspondence to my mother but they have continued to call. After the next call, I am filing complaints with the appropriate authorities in New Jersey as well as the states where the fundrasing companies hired by this group are registered. Their tactics are predatory and they take advantage of the elderly.

    Best wishes to you, all women affected by this disease, your families, and the legitimate organizations who are fighting to prevent and cure breast cancer.

  4. Glen Weisman says:

    Hello. You’re a brave person and tenacious fighter. I recently cited your blog regarding a bogus breast cancer charity that solicited me for a donation. I’ve reported this to several news outlets. Now I’m being asked about doing interviews, and I’d like them to talk to you as you’ve done the legwork. Please contact me and I’ll put you in touch with them.

  5. Dee Dee says:

    I am program director for Breast Cancer Survivors Foundation and I wanted to tell you alittle bit about who we are.
    BCSF is a new organization focused on helping uninsured and underinsured women obtain mammograms and other breast diagnostic services. We do this by providing grants to clinics and agencies. So far we have provided over 400 mammograms through 14 free clinics and agencies. While it is easy to judge an organization based upon its financial efficiency, the real test is what the organization does with it’s resources.
    The organization was founded by a doctor who receives no compensation. The founder considered alternate ways to seek public support. Not having corporate or government funding a decision was made to do grassroots fundraising by telefunding. The advantage of telefunding contracts are numerous. First, no capital investment is required. Second, there is no risk loss. Third, the organization gets a guaranteed return regardless of the telefunding agency’s expenses.
    Our goal for BCSF is develop name recognition over a period of years that allow the organization to diversify its funding appeals.
    I ask that you not judge us on where we are,but rather on the good work we have done to date, and on the basis of where we are going. A woman whose life has been saved through an early detection program funded by BCSF is not likely concerned with the efficiency of the organizations fundraising.
    Finally, if you know of a clinic in your area that provides mammograms or breast diagnostic services to uninsured or under insured women please encourage them to email me for a grant application.

  6. Pingback: breast cancer survivors foundation outed by kane in your korner | ihavebreastcancerblog

  7. Susan says:

    Hi there,
    I have a quick question about your blog! Please email me when you get a chance.

  8. Nina says:

    I very much appreciate your blog and have decided to ask you a question. One of our most beloved co-workers was just diagnosed. I respect her desire to not talk about it. The difficulty is, we all want to do something to help. How should I pose a fundraising drive or supportive activity for us to do for her? Do we tell her we are doing this on the side? Would it be considered invasive?

    • the writer says:

      The reality is you have to respect her wishes. The thing is if this is a woman who has just been diagnosed, she doesn’t even know how she feels about it. So in a sense, I can’t blame her for wanting to keep her own counsel for the time being. I think you have to give her her space right now.

      And if a few weeks down the road you want to gently bring it up again, you can try. But not everyone wants to talk about it, and not everyone wants any help whatsoever.

      Breast cancer is a very public disease that is intensely personal.

  9. nina says:

    You are absolutely right. We were thinking of our own selves and not of her wishes. Thank you for your honesty. It is very much appreciated.

    • the writer says:

      Nina you are not being selfish. You are being very kind. No matter how calm you are when you first get a diagnosis your head just spins. See how she goes and maybe give it a little time and ask her if she needs anything.

      From a personal perspective I didn’t and still don’t want people to feel sorry for me because I had breast cancer –
      it is a hard tangled web of emotion with this disease.

  10. nina says:

    I am incredibly grateful for your perspective. Thank you. 🙂 Writing you has been what I needed to hear so I may keep it in mind during this time. It is easy to respect her wishes now that I have a better understanding.
    My very best to you,

  11. Kim says:

    I just stumbled upon your blog tonight. I happen to have the unfortunate pleasure in watching my my shave her head. I then read your piece about the “journalists” and their spin of what it is like to deal with this f-ing disease,while “reporting” about Lisa Bonchek Adams. My mom has had stage IV breast cancer for 8 or so years (being treating in NYC). Sometimes you have to laugh at things that would make other cringe, but thats how you deal. Thanks for your posts. I’m only 30 and this is a heavy thing to bear. Reading great blogs like this really helps! Thanks.

  12. imapike1929 says:

    Pink Gene Foundation would love to have you as a featured fighter on our face book page! We salute you for having the strength to sure your story. Please contact us if you are interested!

  13. Lisa Aiken says:

    Hi! I was just diagnosed a couple weeks ago (am age 34), and have found your blog super helpful (especially the post on how to tell people). I’m going to try and follow in your footsteps and document my journey in case it can help more people in the future. If you like my blog, please add me to your blogroll! Thanks! http://www.youngandcancerous.com

  14. Lisa Aiken says:

    Wow. You are quick! Thank you so much. Best wishes to you.

  15. Barbara Quick says:

    As a cancer survivor myself, donation calls tug first at the heart strings before the brain kicks in. But, as a supervisor of telemarketers for 42 years, I take great exception to being addressed as “Barb”, and detest a poorly written, poorly read script. I agreed to the donation and was transferred to the supervisor for confirmation. I suggested to her that since the majority of the people her reps were contacting were older than the reps, we would undoubtedly appreciate the respect of being addressed by our full names, and a bit of practice in delivering the presentation would be helpful. By voice, the supervisor sounded at least in her 40s, she copped an attitude and got argumentative. Kept asking for more personal information than I was willing to give. Ended up with her hanging up on me! Thank you for your blog and your heads up! I hope more people read this and choose the places they donate to who will actually help the people rather than exploiting them.
    Barbara Quick

  16. YF says:

    Hi, can you please contact me at my email address? I’d like to discuss with you your important efforts shedding light on scam breast cancer charities. Check out my website to see where I work. Best,

  17. Ella B. says:

    Hi! I love your blog! I am currently beginning a project in which I compile the stories of female cancer patients and educate the students of my high school about the more personal aspects of cancer. This is for my Girl Scout Gold Award project. I’d really like to go into further detail over email. Could you email me and let me know if you would like to be a part of this? Thank you so much for having such an amazing and inspiring blog.

  18. Shavonne says:

    Hi Carla

    I have recently launched a website breastcancerpodcast.com, to help educate and provide helpful content to newly diagnosed patients as well as survivors.

    In our effort to help people find reliable and high quality information we created an article with a list of what we believe to be the best sites and blogs on breast cancer for 2019.

    We researched extensively for months before we created the article and list. We wanted to make sure that we had a very detailed and comprehensive list of resources for those looking for quality information.

    We added your blog to the list as your blog and work is very unique and you provide one of the best resources for patients and people looking to educate themselves and learn about breast cancer.

    We hope that the way we described your work and blog provides an accurate picture of your very unique work and experiences. If you have time to check and let us know what you think about it, we would highly appreciate. Please let us know if you wish us to change anything on our description.

    Thank you very much for your time and attention.

    We wish you a merry Christmas and a very healthy and happy 2019


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