we must maintain our sense of humor….

So went to the medical oncologist at the end of last week for the Great Tamoxifen Chat.  Went over all the side effects, worked our way to hot flashes and then came the “ummm”. 

You see, my medical oncologist is rather gentlemanly for lack of a better description.  So there I sit with my sweet man and my oncologist discussing it all – it is the next five years of my life after all, and well  along came the very quiet comment “it, ummm, may, uhhhh, cause vaginal dryness.”

 Ahh yes a $20 buzz kill phrase, “vaginal dryness.”

 Alas I had already read up on that cheery fact.  And to those who are reading this and are saying “I can’t believe she is talking about those side effects” I say – what? It’s a side effect along with small percentage potential for thrombosis, secondary cancers, hot flashes, etc.  It’s reality.

This drug throws a woman into chemically induced menopause to stop the hormones if you have a hormone driven breast cancer.  It’s not pretty, but I for one don’t want to do this whole thing twice.

Back to the exam room. What the heck to say after such a pronouncement with your guy sitting with you in the exam room…

 “Does that mean I will be hitting up the K-Y Jelly aisle?” I quipped (Sorry, irreverent but what the hell else was I supposed to say? ‘How lovely, pass the crumpets.”)

I think I almost made my oncologist blush.  Poor man.  He gets to talk about all the fun stuff and put up with my sometimes warped sense of humor.  He laughed. (well it was funny, people)

 So here I am on the precipice of the next stage. And I have been sick now for four days straight which really blows.

I am still curled up on the couch in a warm quilt with no desire to move very far.  I am beat and my eyelids still feel heavy and hot. My sweet man has been an awesome nurse – and he bakes bread too.  Too bad  I can’t smell anything….

Ok so maybe this  fatigue and compromised immune system is normal after spending in essence seven weeks in a daily microwave,but may I say again I am tired of feeling like shit? 

Back to sleep with me.  That way maybe I can stop stressing about how I will rally for the office tomorrow. Right now I can’t imagine remaining upright for eight hours straight.  I know all this will pass and eventually this will all be a bunch of memories recorded by a blog, but it’s getting pretty damn boring right now.

Crabbily yours….

 

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About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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3 Responses to we must maintain our sense of humor….

  1. Debbie says:

    Your post is very refreshing…and I most certainly laughed! But then again, my sense of humor is always getting me into trouble too.

  2. dropjohn says:

    Stay away from KY! If you go that route, may I recommend ‘Liquid Silk’?

    You probably have already asked your oncologist this, but it might be helpful to figure out *your* specific risk for recurrence – Tamoxifen is the protocol of care and will be prescribed for ALL early stage patients with hormone receptive tumors, and it does reduce recurrence by 50%, BUT for me, it was important to know what that 50% actually meant:

    Was it a 2% reduction? A 25% reduction? More? Less?

    Whatever you choose, it’s the right thing for you to do.

    • Hey you ! How are you feeling? For me Tamoxifen is a must – my probability of recurrance is extremely low with it. Of course, I am also anxious about it because of the horror stories out there. As for the K-Y – too funny – but truthfully I have heard of women having allergic reactions to it. I also could never buy that just because of a funny story from a million years ago when a friend of mine’s husband was in a People’s Drug in Washington DC around DuPont Circle and this guy in front of him couldn’t find the K-Y. So this drugstore employee got on the store public address system and announced something along the lines of “we need a location aisle check on the K- Y jelly. Where is the K-Y jelly” – so needless to say every darn time I hear someone mention K-Y that comes to mind…

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