frustration station

I have been sick for two days.  My immune system hasn’t near caught up two weeks post-seven straight weeks of radiation.  I feel like crap.  (There is no way to put that eloquently.)

I have had to take a day  off from work.  I pay my own benefits and don’t get sick days, vacation days, etc.  So of course I am churning because now I have time to make up and I just feel like Sisyphus with the darn rock.  And I got a couple calls from the office.  It’s not that I don’t want to be available per se, the reality is I feel like crap and am exhausted.

I feel like I have been on a giant life treadmill since I received my diagnosis  April 28th combined with the fact that I am one of those people who always worries about what is to be done at work when I am not at the office.  Turning my head off even when I am sick is very hard for me even though I know realistically if I don’t turn my head off and rest I will keep getting sick because face it my body has been through the wars.

On the Today Show this morning they did a makeover on a woman who finished radiation 2 weeks ago.  Lucky girl to have the time off and time for pampering. She deserves it.

Yes today is a grumble fest.  I hate being sick, I hate the fact I am not back to normal yet. And my left breast where they did the surgery and radiation is just throbbing in a dull, yet consistently annoying pain this week.  And my skin is peeling where the radiation was.

And Tamoxifen is coming…..

Calgon take me away.

Peace out…. my pillow is calling my name.

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About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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