life as a paperwork pushing mynah bird….

Really, who knew one person could do SO much paperwork about the same thing?  So I have been swallowed up by paperwork for my medical oncologist and radiation oncologist.  List meds, list surgeries, are you crazy, have you been pregnant, do you like the color purple, do you wear underwear on Saturdays, who are your doctors, etc, etc. 

And then one form asks me how I feel about all this.  Really???  Maybe I should just give them the link to my blog? Yes I love having breast cancer, I adore it, can’t imagine how else to spend my time. (no I did not answer that way but was sorely tempted to do so).

And then there is the question about my sex life.   That one did give me a fit of the giggles though because you feel as if a teeny tiny Dr. Ruth jump off the page at you.  (Besides, don’t they know nice girls don’t kiss and tell?)

But seriously, all this paperwork is amazing.  And a lot of it is so repetitive.  I wish there was like this universal application.

Tomorrow is a big day. First date with the medical oncologist.  Am taking gal pals as ears to give the man a break.   Maybe I will make a party out of these things a la Samantha Jones and Sex In The City. As a matter of fact, TV or not, I liked the way the series handled this.  The humor helps when you are watching the episodes as a “chosen” one.

You know what really floors me right now?  How many people are reading this blog.  And I have to tell any woman going through this that writing about this helps get it out. If you can’t blog, journal.

So I spoke to a psychologist attached to my breast cancer program today.  I figure it’s part of the perks so to speak, might as well see what she had to say.  She seemed pretty cool and remarked at how I was juggling a lot of things.  I had to laugh because…. gee you think?

I also keep hearing other horror stories of being a woman who has to work while undergoing treatment.  I am not alone in my worries and it is so not right.  When things happen to me, it’s a clap on the back and “yeah team, let’s rally”.  But women? Not so much.  It’s astounding.  Any politicians reading this?  Want to stop offering women in the workplace lip service and actually help us?  Whether we work in a large company or small, you get the big C life changes there too.  We should be reducing our stresses, not adding to them.

And in other news I have two other friends dealing with canceriffic issues…so can we remember them in our prayers and positive thinking?  They are awesome ladies!

A friend wrote to me today:

“a friend suggested to me this morning to set aside 15 minutes each day to worry, then to visualize putting the worry away in a box, high up a shelf. I really liked that idea. scheduled worrying!! then get on with life….”

I like that idea too!  Now can someone make me do this please….

 She went on to say:

“literally acknowledging the worry, accepting the worry, then letting it go. Otherwise it’s utterly debilitating. I took a class on mindful meditation and it’s the same idea. You don’t deny it it’s there, but trying to allow it to be there, acknowledge it, then literally put it away. The past really is past, and the future is uncertain and out of our control…. and every minute, every second we spend thinking about either robs us of the joy of our right now.”

Penn Medicine does this program called Penn Program for Mindfulness – but it is very expensive I think.  And I know how everyone says there is help for paying for all this stuff , but still. I did find an interesting blog about this  topic….And another interesting blog called Komen Watch . What is up with all the Komen criticism?  Have they gone too commercial? Gone too pink rubber bracelets? (I can’t stand those rubber bracelets incidentally)

I did find a fun website today called Pink Kitchen  and I also got to talk to Catie herself from Catie’s Organics/Energy Essentials

My sister got me hooked on her vitamins and supplements – I have a whey shake in the morning  (no soy, no soy milk – usually almond or rice milk or coconut milk) with gluten-free wheat grass, amnio collagen powder, and whatever fruit I have around – berries, bananas, peaches, melon, whatever.  Anyway to that shake I add Catie’s Whole Food Vitamin C Plus  and Catie’s Organic Greens – I sound like an infomercial, but these products and I get along.

Anyway, I did the flake moment when I looked at my calendar and thought “huh, my order should have been here by now”  – so I called the customer service number.  Ends up I never hit “submit”…so I am speaking with this nice lady who suggests I try the Gluten Free Version of The Organic Greens – because it has among other things asparagus in it.  Who knew that asparagus was on the plus list for cancer fighting foods?  I love asparagus too!

So this nice lady is asking me this and that and I said in the order I submitted I am interested in information on stuff they have nutrition-wise that is beneficial to breast cancer  or cancer patients, etc.  Then this lady started quizzing me about my treatment and all of a sudden I realized I was talking to Catie herself.  Sorry but I found that very cool that this business owner would take the time to speak with a small customer like myself.  

And then I found myself talking about recipes with Catie and she liked this new thing I had made up when my friend Sandra gave me a new thing to try in my organic veggie box a week ago: garlic  scapes – they are like young garlic tops for lack of a better description.  Anyway, I   sautéed them with fresh greens  and white beans (navy or kidney whatever was dried in the jar that I soaked) – I think it was two kinds of kale or it might have been kale and collards and some fresh basil, oregano and a little salt and pepper.

Anyway, what a super cool lady and Linda?  She likes Maca too. She has a lot of recipes on the Cure’s in The Kitchen  site.

Today all in all wasn’t bad.  I am discovering I do have inner strength and my soul is stronger than I give myself credit for….that’s all folks…my boob hurts and so does my tail bone where I slipped and bruised it but good….I have things to do so ciao for now.


About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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1 Response to life as a paperwork pushing mynah bird….

  1. A place for worry:
    Some cultures (or it’s mythology) used tiny dolls and laid their worries on them. I think the name of the dolls I bought were Kachina dolls (SP?). Anyways…same concept as blocking time, only you give the worry to/share the worry with the little doll (like the size of your little finger) and then I guess you put the doll in a little box.
    The concept is that the doll is supposed to worry for you…or something like that.
    I dunno…I guess some of this stuff sounds strange, but if it helps, so be it.

    Pink/Komen/bracelet bashing: some of this stuff seems to have gone from support to fad or fashion. I was most dissapointed to be shopping at a web site that was pink all over, “Pink Something or other Web Site”, and at some point I realized they were simply selling all this for profit. I guess that’s what businesses do, and I guess if you get “your money’s worth” of “product” it’s not like a ripoff, but it felt a little like misrepresentation and the place didn’t even imply that any small portion of the proceeds would go to cancer patients or research.
    Maybe I expect too much, or maybe I’m just gullible..
    I buy stuff from St.Jude’s now, largely, because I know they’re selling the stuff for a profit, but ultimately St. Jude’s policy is that no child is ever refused treatment because of a family’s inability to pay.

    Sorry ’bout the ramble…

    Take care, and be at peace.

    Paz (Scott)

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