Wow. I am doing breast cancer emotions roulette today and I apologize in advance. I don’t want to be a burden and apologize if I am but today I am a little overwhelmed. The whole thing – swollen boob, miscellaneous pain, feeling tired physically and emotionally, not feeling attractive every day, work pressure, undefinable life pressure, and so on – I can’t decide today if I am balancing or juggling.
I feel a little like a tossed salad might feel if a tossed salad could feel….
One of my Barbs coincidentally before I spoke to her early this morning (I have more than one like I have a ream of Karens), had given me what she calls a bible nugget on a 3″x5″ card and I am just going with it:
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?” ~ Psalm 27:1
Deep breath…inhale…exhale…release…just breathe woman….I am not trying to be a big baby…sorry…I will work through this, just giving advance warning that I might be not-so-tough-girl today….Not feeling negative though…just a little like a tossed salad.
ihavebreastcancerblog 
Your feelings of vulnerability are very normal given the circumstances. You will have good days that you will feel like you can overcome anything and days where even the slightest little comment will send you into tears.
You are already a cancer survivor- the day that you are diagnosed. You are on a journey that will have its ups and downs, but with your spirit -you will perservere and shine. .
No need to apologize. This stuff is part of real life. We are here to support each other, so don’t think you are a burden.
Sounds like you’ve had a lot to deal with today. I totally agree with Deb’s advice. One day you can feel on top of the world and crying the next. Sometimes you may be surprised by your emotions, like crying after finding out a test/scan is good. Such a happy release of emotions.
I think it’s great that you are honest with yourself. You know you might not feel great today, but tomorrow is another day.
Love the scripture!! God bless you, dear.
Hey:
At the risk of being a little forward, I wish to suggest that there may be organizations out there that will provide financial assistance. In our county, we have Marathon For A Better Life (.org), which simply hands cash money to people undergoing cancer treatment. No questions asked. MFABL distributes money only withion our county, though. Perhaps a visit to the web site, or other searches, may lead you to similar organizations.
(Canned phrase warning:) Hang in there.
To truly embrace life we must embrace ALL of life. This means we must accept the most difficult, painful or ugly truths as well as all the beautiful ones. There is no balance, no “meaning” to these things. We must choose to let our minds concentrate on those beauties from our pasts, in our futures, and face the uglies down.
Be at peace,
Paz (Scott)