….wow this hurts

Ok so I am not Wonder Woman, and no worries about me pushing it even if I am honestly worried about my job (catching up on work) and a million other things.  I feel like I got hit by a truck.   

 Honestly, zippy I ain’t. 

I hurt and I just can’t move.  I am awake and then I am asleep, or some reasonable facsimile thereof.  I am one of those people who can’t truly relax with pain meds.

So I am taking it easy – and if you don’t hear from me or I don’t answer the phone, please don’t take it personally.   This has taken a lot out of me and I really want to heal properly.

So I have looked in the mirror at it all.  Not so bad and my surgeon has the neatest little stitches in me.  Mind you they hurt.  No I am not moving around so much, everything just freaking hurts.  But my temp is normal and the swelling, etc does not look out of hand.  I hate feeling crappy I have to tell you.  And I am so tired.

And as we send up prayers and positive thoughts for me and the pathology and what lies ahead, can you remember a neighbor of mine in your prayers?  I think I mentioned her before.  She is recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon/rectal cancer and has lesions on her liver.

This has me a bit undone.  She is the loveliest lady and I know she has severe nausea after the intensive in-patient chemo she has had.  Any tips on that, please post so I can pass along when I am feeling better.

There is an undeniable fragility of life, so we need to get the best and most positive out if it, if that makes any sense.  I don’t take anything for granted any more – not that I think I really did to begin with.

Anyway, I hope I am not being a big bummer here, this is just what is on my mind this evening. A jumbled mind jungle…I know it is normal to feel out of sorts, I just don’t like it.   And I hate not feeling well.

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About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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