#tbt and thoughts seeing an old photo from my breast cancer journey

Dear Readers: the backstory is that photo was posted on Facebook yesterday like an FBI Wanted Poster in the post office. If you have followed this blog, you know I haven’t even here posted tons of photos of myself. I just haven’t. This photo above is from some part of 2011 and the beginning of my journey with breast cancer. Either before my surgery, or before I started radiation. It may have even appeared on this blog.

The person who posted it undoubtedly is unhappy with my opinions on their craziness about COVID-19 and wearing masks, and masks on kids in our schools. They are literally very public with their feelings speaking at public meetings, etc. Otherwise quite frankly, I wouldn’t know they existed on this planet.

I don’t know why they chose this photo in particular. Could it be a purely bitchy female move as to embarrass me by posting a photo of a me in a hospital gown? Is it to bully me? Come after me? I don’t really know her motivation, and I honestly don’t care. But it made me reflect on the past decade, a little more in depth then on my 10th breastcancerversary or the recent date of stopping Tamoxifen.

I remember the first year dealing with breast cancer very vividly. You had a good days and you had bad days. You tried not to let people see the bad days because sometimes they either couldn’t handle it or they wanted to fix everything for you, and you really have to come through it yourself even if you need support.

Every woman’s breast cancer journey is intensely personal because as I have said over the past decade, breast cancer is a disease with a very public face that is at the same time this odd duality of also being a very personal/private journey. The face in the photo above was not the face of confidence, that was a face of uncertainty because it is all so new the first year.

And that’s O.K. You work your breast cancer 12-step program and take things day by day. You celebrate the little and large victories, your are honest when a day is just crappy.

I am proud of the last decade and grateful to be alive. So this woman? She doesn’t get to take that from me or my first amendment rights. To follow in italics is the post from my regular blog so you have the context.

Thanks for being here with me and here is what I wrote:

📝Hi Alicia! I am guessing you don’t like yesterday’s post? All based on public information and I am actually allowed to express my opinions by virtue of the same First Amendment that allows you to spew hatred at Tredyffrin Easttown School Board meeting, correct?

So the photo you posted? Well it is 10 yrs old and I am fairly certain it was either before I had breast cancer surgery, or after I had surgery and was getting ready or just starting radiation treatment. Are you happy now that you posted the photo? Like I am wanted for some crime against humanity? Lots of people know me, dear. Some of those people actually alerted me to your public wanted poster on your Facebook profile.

You might not like what I have had to say about you or your anti-masker, anti-vaxxer amigos, but I am entitled to my opinions like anyone else. You put yourself out there in public forums where you have no expectation of privacy, you don’t really do so well with your privacy settings on social media, and you chose to try a Go Fund Me for your lawsuit for an injunction against Tredyffrin Easttown School District/School Board that was covered by the media. YOU madam, raised your own profile. No one else. I am not breaking new ground here. You have created your own political theater have you not?

That photo illustrates why I live immunocompromised for life… because I had breast cancer and received treatment and just finished up 10 years of breast cancer medication.

So I have zero respect for someone like you who raises hell in school board meetings with your nonsense. Sure you have your first amendment right to your opinions, but no law says I or anyone else has to agree with you and the first amendment is not subjective is it? Or do you think it is?

411: we have been living with a global pandemic. Not the common cold. Masks won’t hurt people for a little while. No one likes to wear them, but if we do our part because that is how this will all get under control and eventually life will return to normal. Of course the flip side is will life return to normal? Ask any cancer survivor and we will tell you we have had to get used to a new normal. Maybe you do too?

Bless your heart, thanks for the photo memory, and the very real and valid reasons people like me think people like you are just wrong.📝

About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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