It was just a little note in my calendar. But it’s a very big event. The note says “stop taking Tamoxifen after today.”

Ten years ago I started taking Tamoxifen. Prior to this, I took very little medicine. Mostly allergy medicine and ibuprofen or Tylenol. Sometimes antibiotics, and well back in the day, birth control pills. Taking a drug every day for 10 years hasn’t been fun, and there have been times over the course of a decade I seriously wished I didn’t have to take it. But I didn’t want to be one of those people that just suddenly took themselves off a breast cancer drug they were prescribed. And there have been times over the past decade when I have seen women comment in breast cancer chats that they’ve done just that.

I can honestly say that over the course of the past 10 years I was more scared to NOT be on tamoxifen, than to be taking it.

So here we are.

I have survived a decade on this drug and I am cancer free at present. Tamoxifen did it’s job and I’m not going to rehash all the issues I’ve experienced over a decade because this is the last day. The very last day.

I did it! I got through it!

How do I feel about this? I’m not sure is my short answer. I am so glad I am here 10 years later to tell you I can stop taking Tamoxifen, but part of me is also a little nervous. It’s kind of like going forward walking the tight rope without a net isn’t it? But if the drug has done it’s job, and buy all testing and examinations, it has done it’s job. So from my doctors’ lips to God’s ears, I will be fine.

I remember when my oncologist and I had the discussion about stopping Tamoxifen at the 10 year mark, it took me a while to comprehend that I didn’t taper off, I just stopped taking the meds.

I think I deserve a merit badge or at least a nice piece of jewelry for surviving 10 years of the stuff.

Well I am signing off for now. I just wanted to take a moment to also recognize this milestone in my breast cancer journey.

Be well dear readers and thanks for being here all of these years.