new hair, tired body

One of my friends took me on a beauty excursion early last evening and I came back with new hair.  After my negative salon experience  earlier this summer I had  given up on the hair thing.  I had not had my hair cut since March I think. It was so nice and I loved the stylist.  She has such a following I might not get an appointment for at least a couple of months, but wow she is amazing.  I think she fit me in as a favor to my friend and I am very grateful – I needed to feel girly for lack of a better term, even if I am so g.d. tired.

 While I was there I met another customer who has a friend who is about a three-year breast cancer survivor.  What a cool woman and her friend did the brave thing and opted for a double mastectomy and chose to not have reconstruction.  This lady’s friend has been on tamoxifen for a couple of years now and the only side effect I could discern was occasional moodiness.  So that was helpful.

What I realized however, is that I do not know if it is temporary or permanent, but radiation has changed the texture of my hair.  I love the cut incidentally, but the rest of me is just tired. So yes today you finally get to see who scribbles up here, and I apologize in advance as to how tired and solemn I look.

I am just beat.  The photo is not in color because I don’t feel like looking at me looking at me off my blog and looking at the darn rash.  I am also sore.

I made the executive decision to take a couple of days off.  I have been a trooper and worked throughout this whole process and have had no vacation.  So I am giving myself a mini-break.  Because I do not get vacation or sick days I will have to make the time up later in the month (rabbit,rabbit it’s September 1st by the way), but I need a break.  I can’t ignore the signals my body is sending me.  I am exhausted. And when you are THAT tired that it is even inhibiting your ability to sleep right and you feel like crying for no reason – it’s time to take time for yourself even if you aren’t going through breast cancer treatment. I can’t stay positive if I am this tired.  I refuse to lose that.

Ok kids time to go pulverize spinach into my morning shake. Then off to rads. Then I am taking a nap.




About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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