I don’t really know what to call this post, so it is the post with no name. I ran into a neighbor who I don’t see all the time and they told me about someone they know who is struggling through breast cancer – as in really struggling and their stage is lower than my stage 2.
Apparently this woman is probably using the same radiation oncologist and possibly even had my surgeon. I know my neighbor is giving this woman my blog address.
So here’s a little shout out to this woman. I don’t know who you are, and I can’t tell you how to feel, but I will tell you if my cancer was at the even lower stage yours is, I would be learning how to do cartwheels again – it’s a really good thing.
I know you are checking out support groups, and have discovered the one you are in is full of a lot of really depressed women who seem to be bringing you down. All I can say is everyone’s cancer is different, and maybe this is not the support group for you. You have to concentrate on your own healing and not be everyone else’s emotional breast cancer empath. Maybe you just can’t handle that right now.
Conversely, if you are comfortable with that support group in spite of the composition of it, tell those women how they are making you feel – to me that is part of the process. And please, don’t feel bad if you are not feeling exactly what they are feeling. You are you and they are them. And if they can’t be supportive of you trying to express how you feel, find another support group. Or check out a therapist – maybe a some tune-ups one on one would be more to your liking.
Wherever your surgery was you have a nurse navigator with resources. Use them. I know how easy it is to get depressed over all this – it’s utterly overwhelming at times. But look, we’re a long time dead and we have our lives. Look forward – we can’t undo what is done, but we can move forward. You are not alone. I don’t know you, but I get it and I wish you the best – you can do it. Some days none of us feel we can, but we can.
In that vein, early this morning, when the dew is on plants and the earth and sky are still except for the twittering of birds I found myself awake. And I wanted to pick up my camera. I haven’t had that urge since before my surgery. So…I took a few photos. Certainly not my best work, but to feel that urge to do something that so brings me pure pleasure was a little slice of awesome.
Today I am once again grateful for my doctors and the love of my family and friends and especially one very special man I am fortunate to have in my life.
Today is another day, people. Live it. And I can do this. I don’t feel like that every day, so I think I need to remind myself.