Some days you just need the F-Bomb.  Today is one of them and I don’t need this crap, nor do I need more stress.

I was wading through the sea of what referrals I need for surgery, what codes, blah,blah,blah and a woman in my surgeon’s office said “do you have a cardiologist?”

WTF????

Uhhh no because I have never had any heart issues…well apparently I might??? Fabulous.

The EKG shows something called an “anterior infarct” and now to add to my list of motherfuckingpainintheassthingstodo I need cardiology clearance and oh yes… a cardiologist.

OK my stress is definitely ramped up now and given the nature of hospital systems, I can’t talk to someone directly, I need to leave a message.

Ok God? You up there? It’s me , not Margaret.  Really? Really? I need a break.

I don’t need this on top of everything else.  I do not need layers of stress on stress.

I just want to get better with as little drama as possible.

Is that too much to ask?

FUCK

 I am grateful if I have an issue and it is discovered NOW and not at some other point, but wow….I need to breathe

UPDATE: Someone from my primary’s office called back and she will see me tomorrow afternoon.  I said to the nurse, “you do understand I have breast cancer and I have surgery scheduled and come hell or high water no farting around  I will have this mass out on schedule and I will get cardiac clearance and the surgeon is adamant on this.   I do not have the time to fuck around with this nor the temperament. I don’t need medical clash of the titans I need a game plan and fast movement and no bullshit.  If I come in tomorrow ideally I want to go then to cardiology.  If this is stress related I need to minimize it NOT make it glow”

We’ll see what happens.  I mean this could mean I have a murmur or something bad or nothing at all.  But I do not need my wallet sucked dry and my stress levels rendered impossible while trying to fight cancer.

After all I have a plan damn it….and a life…I hate bullshit