and the beat goes on

It’s 2020. It’s one month tomorrow since I had knee surgery on my left knee. The healing is happening but it feels slow. Part of the problem is my left side is where sentinel node was removed when I had my breast cancer surgery 8 1/2 years ago.

In 2019 we discovered I did not escape lymphedema entirely and I was getting a touch in my left lower leg and foot. Not my right leg, just the left. Which means I think a lot of the post surgical swelling I am experiencing is in part due to my left side doesn’t like to be messed with.

But I am still on this planet to bitch about life’s minutia, so I will be fine!

Others are not so lucky. I am blessed I do not have to live with metastatic breast cancer. I know three women who are and they are each so different.

One woman who is an awesome human being is doing pretty darn well. She has her ups and downs and is brutally honest with how she feels. I respect that. No sugar coating, just real. She goes for her treatment and does her best to live her life.

The other two are very different.

One who is newer to this whole thing seems to post lots of warrior and other photos on her social media. She seems focused more on the stuff people are leaving at her door, which means poor thing is living in denial. By all reports her cancer is a nasty case and she has had infections and other stuff. I feel badly for her and I am glad her friends are lifting her up. But when the whole concept of cancer really hits her, I hope she can cope.

The last is in the end game stage of metastatic breast cancer. She is delaminating. She has a world of troubles. She is talking about dying now. She is posting photos of her body now on Facebook to show swelling. People must have gotten upset at her posting photos of her reconstructed breasts because she commented on the fact that what you see aren’t real breasts at this point. She has one child who seems estranged now. This woman lived for this child and personally I think the child needs to grow the hell up because this woman probably doesn’t have much time left.

I know of other women lately who have finished their treatment and rung their bells. I don’t even know them and it makes me fill up with tears when I hear of other women ringing the bell. It sounds silly, but it IS such a big deal. It’s a little thing that means the world.

Maybe that is why I like bells so much? I didn’t think about that until now. I had actually written about this elsewhere- how I like old bells and I have them in the garden and in my home and I love to hear them ring. Maybe when I ring my little bells I am ringing them for all of us?

Prayers up to those dealing with breast cancer.

That is all.

About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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