spay day is coming


(painting by Philadelphia artist Geri Mack and use of image is courtesy of the artist. )

Yes I know I am being flippant about my upcoming surgery, but face it they are indeed spaying me.

When I last wrote on this blog I was anticipating the hysterectomy , and yes, my surgery should have occurred by now. Unfortunately for me, there was the little winter storm thing that hit the East Coast the first week of February. Ah yes, the ice storm. I forget what the storm’s name was (not that it matters because who came up with the idea of naming winter storms like hurricanes anyway? )

The ice storm was followed by more snow.

Anyway, the ice storm was particularly hard for Chester County, Pennsylvania residents. I think if I recall what I was told correctly, over 90% of the county was affected.

We took a direct hit to our home. We were very, very lucky we weren’t hurt. At 3:30 or so the morning of the storm our power went out. Then at a little after 4 a.m. a couple thousand pounds of a huge beech tree slammed into us. It was almost indescribable the feeling of that much tree weight slamming into the house. The house held, but it racked. We had branches through the roof, a five foot branch through a smaller roof and ceiling, and when this tree hit the house it hit the wall outside our bedroom with such ferocity that it not only punched a hole in the wall six inches give or take from my sweet man’s head, it broke the slats in our mahogany headboard.

No lie, it was scary. I have even had nightmares about it since.

We were a week without power and ten days without television, land line, internet, or centralized heat. And oh yeah, we are on a well, so no electricity meant no well pump or running water. We kept the house heated with our wood stove. O Pioneer and all that good stuff.

I read a lot of books and repaired and requilted sections of vintage quilts that needed mending. I must say that #IceStorm2014 was kind of isolating.

In the middle of all this I had tamoxifen issues again with CVS. I had switched stores to one closer to where I live and I get a call from a substitute pharmacist telling me Teva no longer made my generic. Which of course is NOT true, they just don’t sell it in 30 day count pre-packaged bottles. Anyway, enough of that Groundhog Day as CVS seems to have issues with this before. Suffice it to say for the second time with a CVS I had to straighten that out. But Teva’s generic is the only one I don’t have reactions to on top of the normal obnoxious side effects.

So……given that all of this tree on house/winter storm after winter storm stuff was a bit overwhelming so I pushed my surgery date back a bit. I decided that the stress of this storm and it’s aftermath wasn’t the best thing to combine with surgery. My surgeon agreed.

Well now spay day is looming once again, and at this point I am just anxious to have it all over and done with. I am a little antsy about it now and the idea of a catheter in during and after the surgery is not my favorite thought of the day.

BUT (there is always a BUT)…..doing this will keep me from popping a secondary cancer that I would worry about for years to come given my history. And of course much like there are a million breast cancer surgery stories they are a million hysterectomy stories. I have only really listened to a few of my friends who have had them. These are cool and practical women who won’t moan about it for decades like one of my late father’s aunts.

I have continued to meet some really cool survivors, incidentally. Cheers to all of you out there because you enter my life whenever I am struggling with things like my upcoming surgery, those damn hot flashes (which right now include occasional night sweats), and self-body image.

The self-body image is a weird little rabbit hole. Most of the time I am fine, but every once in a while comes this passing wrinkle. And it can be hard. But the reality is I am very, very lucky so being lop-sided is a small price to pay. But I continue to have to acknowledge that breast cancer occasionally messes with your femininity or inner girly-girl. Even after you are past your surgery and radiation or chemotherapy.

It has been a long winter, for sure. In anticipation of more accommodating weather, the painting in the post today is by my friend and former teacher, Philadelphia artist Geri Mack. I love her work – it makes me smile.

Thanks for stopping by.

About carla

Writer, blogger, photographer, breast cancer survivor. I write about whatever strikes my fancy as I meander through life.
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2 Responses to spay day is coming

  1. Dawn says:

    Dear ihavebreastcancerblog, I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I appreciate your blog. I have recently started a blog of my own and am just learning how this all works. The last couple of months for me have been a whirlwind of activity from lump discovery to mastectomy. I will find out in a few days what the next step looks like but have been told to expect an aggressive chemo. I really appreciate your insights and articulate-ness, i.e. the “flippancy”, self-image as a weird little rabbit hole, and the absolute need to not have people feel sorry for me, among other insights. Bless you. Dawn

    • the writer says:

      Thank you Dawn! I looked at your blog. You’re doing fine! It’s honest and it’s your space. I wish you the best, and look forward to hearing from you again with updates as to how you are doing

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