I am amazed at all the people finding this blog since I am not advertising it. I am humbled by the kind thoughts of other women who are going through or have gone through what I am currently dealing with breast cancer whom I do not know. The kind words and positive thoughts of strangers is really kind of special and I can’t thank all of you enough. That strengthens my resolve to pay this goodwill forward as I am able.
Every day brings something new. Now that I am cleared for surgery with the EKG, my primary care wants me back in the office next week to check on my blood pressure. O.k. yes I am a bit of a stress monster now, but there is so much planning for this surgery in all areas of my life. My paperwork has paperwork!
I am actually quite calm today and can’t wait to get this shit cut out of my breast and be done with it. Out, out damn spot! (Don’t think it’s what Shakespeare had in mind, but hell it fits)
I have had zero feedback on my other writing project, so perhaps there is no interest by that readership about the scribblings of a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient. Either that or we aren’t supposed to say breast cancer out loud in some circles.
And that is something which continues to amaze me. Why are people sometimes so freaked out that I am just being open about this diagnosis? It isn’t a dirty little secret, it happened and I have to deal with it. And I have to deal with it on my own terms, not the terms of other people. Maybe that is selfish, but I see it as positive self-preservation.
I am also meeting more people every day whom I never knew had breast cancer. It figures that every single one have been some of the most amazing women I know.
So another week in the hopper, another day closer towards positive resolution, another day happy and loved. I am a spoiled girl and thanks for being there and reading my flowing streams of consciousness!
My last word is a positive affirmation an old friend sent to me:
Stress is fear. I release all fear from my body.