Hello there all. Happy 2025. I am still alive and kicking.

I saw someone in a neighbor group on social media post about their mother’s friend having an upcoming breast cancer surgery and what should they do and so on.

So I figured this would make a good post.

As a breast cancer survivor I will find out what the person wants BEFORE you go, and don’t go if they are not ready for visitors yet – this is about them, not us.

I would not show up right after the surgery because although I only had a partial mastectomy, I can tell you that you are TIRED and SORE. And a bundle of emotions that change every hour the first couple of days.

The first couple of days all I wanted was quiet and sleep.

I had immediate family there on surgery day. They were the last people I saw before I went into surgery and the first I saw after the recovery room.

Every breast cancer patient faces this journey differently, which is why you have to ask THEM what they want, not us. Not trying to be mean, it is just the truth.

My best and closest friends sent books and things in at first, then visited as long as I felt like it.

I will tell you it was a time where I learned to be selfish because there were people who wanted to be all depressed because I had breast cancer and had surgery. Those people I let go of. This is about the patient.

If someone is having a full mastectomy or not, it’s a lot for any woman. Breast cancer is just a lot.

The best thing any human can do is to be there for them, listen to them.

Soft clothing is one of those things you need after this surgery, Non restrictive. Natural fibers, soft cotton everything was my favorite.

And post surgery, when there is treatment? My friends drove me to treatment, it was called the Driving Miss Daisy list. To be honest, it was those days which meant the most. They made sure as I went through treatment I was not alone. More than presents or pillows or soft clothes or books, that was the greatest most meaningful thing: the gift of their presence.

Happy New Year!